Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Round up of 2014!

Wow, another year is leaving us and we are approaching on the year 2015. I am excited yet sad at the same time, but glad that with a new year means new adventures, new experiences, new chances to make a better self. 

I figured I'd try my best at recapping events that happened throughout the year by month. :D And hopefully it'll make for a interesting post. 

JANUARY

Ringing in 2014 wasn't that great. Wound up getting into a big fight with my boyfriend, and that escalated into just a big emotional mess. But I'm just glad the month panned out to be a decent one.

FEBRUARY 
Had a decent Valentine's Day weekend with the boyfriend. But from that weekend after, we kind of split. I got booked to show up at a local artist's event and I met celebrity dj, DJ Schemes. As well, got diagnosed with cancer.

MARCH
Began prepping for my online friend of 8 years first visit! Bought my first journal in the past 2 years.

APRIL
My best friend, Michelle, from Tennessee comes to stay and visit for 2 weeks! We visit the White House, the Cherry Blossoms, the Jefferson memorial and several other places. Partied, shared laughs and some downs and I'm just glad I finally got to meet her. I almost cried when she finally left for the airport.

MAY - JUNE
I got a job at Macy's after a while of being sick and as well as being unemployed for awhile.

JULY - AUGUST
First cosplay prep! I decided upon doing my childhood hero, or heroine I may say, Sailor Moon. Went to Otakon 2014, which was my first experience in cosplaying. Sadly I could only go one day as I fell ill.

SEPTEMBER 
My 23rd birthday! Greatful to see another year. Especially with my health and everything that had happened to me. Went to a trampoline place and had the time of my life being a anime princess with my purple hair and crown.

OCTOBER
Celebrated 2 years of ups and downs with the boyfriend and really, I just hopw we grew stronger.

NOVEMBER
Bad month. Baaaad month.

DECEMBER 
Better month. Christmas was great. Learned many things about myself. And now I know how I want to go about the New Year!

So that's a short post but that my year in a nutshell. I wanted to get this post done before Midnight, (and unfortunately I'm using the Blogger app to write and edit so forgive the mistakes) so sorry if it's a little bland!

I look forward to all that 2015 has to offer me and the bettering of myself. I hope 2015 is just as sweet to you as I plan on making it for me! Muah bunnies! Xoxo






Wednesday, November 19, 2014

A Natural Gal's Woes...

Honestly, I don't even know where to begin this post as I am brand new to the "Natural" community. I've watched videos, read articles, done plenty of research on the internet - but still didn't feel like I could be totally "informed" without going through my own trial and error. I figured since I have this blog, I would start to monitor my hair progress, even with my illness and sickness. Stress management and the works.

Back in May of this year (2014), I made the leap and completely shaved my head bald. Completely bald. 



Cancer, chemotherapy treatments and life stressed caused me to just make the big move. And though I didn't have the confidence to fully embrace it. It was there. It was done, and I had to move on from that.

It took a little bit for my hair to actually start to grow out but by August of this year (2014) it became a nice little curly fro. I am still not aware of what my hair type is, as there apparently is a glossary to this but as it grows and I learn, I'm sure I'll become aware of what my hair needs most.

Right now it's a decent length and honestly, I haven't been doing too much to it other than conditioning it, moisturizing it (when I wasn't lazy) and just letting it be a curly mess. And I can admit, I should be doing more as this is the vital stage to hair growth - but with my funds being low at the moment I can only afford but so much hair care products. I only use a curl custard right now and my regular African Shea butter and Suave Shampoo/Conditioner products. But I definitely want to venture into Natural Hair Care products.

So my hair looks like this now, and honestly I want to start wearing it out more. I've only been hiding my hair under wigs, and hats and such and I know that isn't the best either. And with summertime coming up in the next few months I want my hair to be longer and luscious so I don't have to be sweaty and hot in wigs.

I think my hair is adorable~ When it's like this. Only it doesn't dry like this,

This is a short post, as I'm just stating what I'll be blogging about more and possibly vlogging about over the next few months.




Thursday, October 23, 2014

Bursting at the seams...

I have those days where my depression really likes to beat on me. I get overly emotional. I think about all of the things I am NOT doing with my life. I think about the things I don't have. I feel like a complete failure and all I want to do is lay in bed and mope and cry..

And today is one of those days. Basically for the past week, I was at my boyfriend's house, which was keeping majority of my emotions at bay. However, when I returned to my "home", of which I share with an high-strung Grandmother and a doormat sister, those emotions came flooding back.

I dread being here longer than I have to, this place unfortunately I have to come home. But not currently having any funds in my bank account, I was stuck with doing so.

Already as I walked in the door, I could feel those feelings of not-wanted and my heart felt heavy and I couldn't stop the tears. I just wanted to run away and not come back.

Luckily for me, my boyfriend caught onto my emotional (wreck) state and came to the rescue. But eventually I had to come back. I had a terrible night sweat last night, one from being emotionally distressed. I tossed, I turned and I woke up feeling absolutely terrible.

Last night, something was said to me that wound up making me weep in the shower for 20 mins and I think bits of my heart went down the drain.

I think that's what led up to my not being able to sleep.

This is not a recent thing. And honestly this has been going on for the longest.

I feel like a complete failure to my friends and my boyfriend. An annoyance and a burden. Each time I have to ask of something from anyone I just want to slit my own wrists, or cry. Because silently I care here the judgement. I always here it in the hesitation in their voice to help..

I wish it was just something I could ignore. I wish I could shut off my depression at my own will. But I cannot. I've been dealing with depression for the past 9 years of my life. And honestly I do my best to not play the victim. Like in the past I've been told I do.

But my depression is real. I just want people to understand that. It's here. It's back. And it makes me hate everything about myself, my life. Everything.

This post is not to make you feel sorry for me, or to even try and push force some emotion that makes you even care. It's just here. It's just me putting it out there for someone who is going through the same thing. You're not alone. And your best bet is to write. I'm still here because I write. And even when I feel like I can't fucking take it anymore, I just lay there and let my mind write without pen and paper.

And then I get numb. And sooner or later, depression has packed its bags and left for however long until it is to return again.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Anime USA 2014

This weekend past, was Anime USA. A local anime/manga enthusiast convention held in the Washington, D.C area. Having lived in the area, this was my first year ever attending. But what I can say.. This was the most fun I've had at a con yet.

Thursday night, it took me forever to get my con bag packed and ready to go. I was going to ride metro for the first time ever in cosplay and it just so happened to be Sailor Moon.

On Friday, I arrived their pretty early and to my surprise it was in a really nice hotel. The con is held at the Washington Marriott Wardman Park Hotel, literally down the street from the National Zoo. It was fairly close to metro (which was a plus) and once again the hotel was fantastic.

I picked up my badge (like at any other con) which looked like this:


After picking up my badge I walked around a bit (after adjusting my cosplay) trying to see if I could find anyone I knew. Because it was still early nothing was open yet, not even the dealer hall. I didn't want to go outside as it was pretty chilly (and a short skirt + chill = no bueno) so I stopped by a little cafe they had and got some pineapples and juice and plopped back down on a couch and took a selfie. 


By this time people were beginning to pour into the convention. I decided to wander around a bit more and that's when I wandered into this wonderful person!


Meet Tara! She completely made her costume and did the make-up and everything and boy did she look cool. She was basically wandering the con alone while her friends were still sleeping so we decided to adventure together.

And here's my Sailor Moon!